Diving Divas

So my mom taught me to dive one summer when we were driving to visit my step-father in rehab - but that's another story. We were driving through the Wisconsin Dells (back in the 70's) and I was fairly old (12 or 13) for not knowing how to dive. My mom was never terribly athletic and she and I didn't spend much time together doing sporty type things. But this particular road trip on this particular day at this particular roadside motel, she was offering her time and attention and I gladly accepted. Looking back, I can only imagine what was going on in her mind as we drove to Hazeldon, MN - the alcoholic rehap capitol of the U.S. and I have nary a clue what was going on in mine...those are my zoned out years of painful puberty and numb coping as my mom and her husband's relationship went from bad to worse.

I remember my bathing suit - a pale blue one piece number. My mom told me to stand at the very edge of the pool, straighten my arms, cover my ears and for god's sake, tuck the chin! As I fell into the water over and over again, I finally got it right and my mom took pleasure in seeing me progress. She took her camera out and snapped several photos of me and later we went out to dinner and we had "taco salads" - something neither one of us had ever heard of and they were delicious (!) and exotic seeming. Weeks later, when my mother got her film delivered, all my diving shots had been condensed into one surreal looking photo - me in every position - a time lapse effect in one picture. I can still see the photo in my mind.

This past week, I taught Sophie to dive - and I've never seen such courage - truly - in her. As I held her at the edge of the pool, I could feel her shaking. I asked her if she was scared and she nodded and said "terrified!" But she never gave up and never stopped practicing. By day 2 she had graduated to the diving board and was doing perfect dives. She even befriended a grown woman who was too scared to dive and convinced her to try. I watched the two of them diving away and slapping each other with high fives. Later in the week, Sophie taught her big sister Emmy (who is 20) to dive and she did it - no sweat. I love how this legacy (handed down from my mom) continues in a blended, crazy-quilt lineage.

So 2 days ago, I told Lili she was going to dive off the diving board. She has been swimming like a fish all summer (even learning the butterfly!!) This kid is a natural and she attacked this head on. She did about 5 practice dives off the edge and then went off the board. Flawless. This kid...

Happy Summer...XOXO

Picnics

This summer I made a wish list...a list of all the things that feel "summery" to me and that I hoped I would get a chance to do. My list is kind of long but full of fun stuff - mostly free too. Anyway, one of the things on my list is to have a lot of picnics...the kind where I can use all the table cloths I seem to have inherited from various relatives. Table cloths are so pretty but they get stained and have to be dry cleaned. I have a whole drawer full of crisp, white linen, monogrammed table cloths from my maternal grandmother. I haven't touched them because I hate to be the one that stains the snowy white cloth. So I just gaze at them and lightly touch the thin protective plastic.

I have a beautiful linen table cloth that was hand embroidered by my grandmother that I have used now for 3 different picnics. At every event, there has been some food spilled on it, and each time I have taken it upstairs, soaked it in oxyclean, and cold water washed it. It looks great. It looks a little used, but I'm glad I get to enjoy it. What am I waiting for? Carpe Diem right?

I've had a dream to have a garden party for several summers now. Each summer has seemed to be more hectic than the next. Blended family stuff, kid stuff, foreign exchange student stuff, stifling Boulder heat, projects, breakdowns, melt downs, expectations, etc. have all gotten "in the way" of me having a great garden party (and the great summer I am always determined to have, yet feel has eluded me.)

Well, I am more than halfway through this summer (actually 51 days into summer - it started very early here in Boulder - only 30 more to go) and I have been doing TONS of stuff on my list. I love having a list! And I had a garden party this past week for a few of my dear women friends (one visiting from Santa Barbara) and it was so nice. Very laid back. Very visually pleasing. And the food was delicious. It was a potluck salad lunch...and unbelievably tasty. (I made a red rice salad from August's Yoga Journal - faboo!) So please check out some of these pics and note the table cloths!

xoxo

ps - I fear that this post was shallow and blah blah blah but I was trying to to put it into words and having a tough time! sorry if it made the eyelids heavy!

pps - I am having the BEST summer ever too...just had to say that. I have a lot of gratitude for the way this summer has flowed - beautiful.

4th of July

I love this holiday! It's one of my major faves...I used to spend every summer (or at least a chunk of it) with my grandparents in Rhode Island, and I have such vivid memories of the 4th of July. They lived in Narragansett, right on the ocean, and we would always spend part of the day in the water. City folks from Providence would clog the roads driving down to the beaches, but we were already there...enjoying ourselves, enjoying the scene.

At night we would have lobster for dinner and drive to the sea wall. Hundreds of cars would line the boulevard, people spilling from the doors, to jockey for a seat on the wall itself. My grandfather would stand close as I sat on the wall with my legs dangling over the side - giant rocks, perriwinkles, and seaweed glistening as the waves crashed below me. Looking out over the water, we would wait for the first fireworks coming further down the sand, at the Dunes Club. All of Narragansett Bay stretched out in a crescent before us and fireworks could be seen as far away as Newport.

And always, always, that night involved ice cream cones. Whether we bought a soft serve cone (coffee for the grown ups, chocolate for me) at one of the road side stands, or went to Newport Creamery, we always had one. And we licked our cones as we watched the sky with anticipation.

This year I had an AWESOME holiday. I had the kids with me (yea!) and good friends over and lots of yummy food. The yard looked beautiful and Andy lit all the torches. We did tons of sparklers and a friend brought over some more pyro-techy type things which the kids loved. More than watching the fire crackers, I loved watching the kids faces as they stood off to the side, enthralled and terrified all at once, holding hands with their buddies.

Then we walked a few blocks down the street to the top of 19th and watched the big fireworks from Folsom Field. The crowd cheered as one at the huge finale and I walked with a very sleepy Harlan back to the house as Andy and Lili raced ahead.

I love when I am in the moment, recognizing new traditions and waching memories being formed in my kids' minds. xoxo

Summer Solstice S'mores

Well, one of my absolute favorite times of the year is the longest, lightest day of the year - Summer Solstice. And this year it falls on a Friday night. And on that night, I'll be celebrating at our neighborhood Elk's Club pool. They have a BBQ every Friday night and it's SO fun! It's amazing how many people are enjoying themselves. Little kids are having a blast swimming in the pool, teen-aged libido is so thick you can see it, and adults are having a great time getting buzzed. I was just having a great time being all of the ages aforementioned. I spent so much time as a kid swimming at pools and as a teenager being a lifeguard at a pool and my adult was getting a contact high from all the socializing with everyone.

BUT! On Saturday night, we are having some families in our neighborhood come over for s'mores and that is another one of my favorite summer things to do with the kiddos. Personally, I just like being the "keeper" of the supplies and handing them out (that way I can eat all the chocolate) but the kids have so much fun roasting and toasting and running around. I love when I see memories in the making. It means a lot to me.

So, happy Summer Solstice Everyone! xoxo

Summertime...

I've decided that I'm going to devote the next several posts to my favorite time of year - Summer. I love it so! My absolute favorite days of the year are the ones that are getting longer and lighter. After June 21, a part of me feels sad, even though high summer is here, because I know the days are getting shorter.

Today I dedicate this post to a beautiful summer flower...the Peony. Blowsy, bowled over, head hanging low, the peony is a full bloom whose scent intoxicates. I've cut several and placed them in vases all over the house and I can smell them wherever I go. They've inspired me to clean my room because they deserve a clean room for display. Sometimes I am traveling when they are at their heyday of bloomage (I made that up) and I am so sad to miss it. But this year, I am home and enjoying their beauty and grace.

What's your favorite summer flower? xoxo

A Good Death

Death is an inevitable cycle. But sickness before death is a symptom of resistance. Most people think they've got to get sick to die. But, you could be like the cat who chooses to get run over. Or, you could just lie down in your bed, happily, one night, so content and thoughtless, wanting nothing in this physical world, and just reemerge into Pure Positive Energy... You can play it out any way you choose.

-Abraham-Hicks

I love this quote - and I hope it's true. I did much preparation for both kids' births and they were wonderful, powerful, and awe-inspiring. I watched my father die and marveled at the journey he undertook. If I truly can choose my death, I am going to be 103 and be surrounded by my children and grandchildren and I am going to say goodbye and give kisses and hugs, and then I am going to go to sleep and die peacefully.

But when I am really on top of my game, I try and live each day as if it is my last and it's amazing how much love I can access for the people in my life if I pretend that I only have one day to live. Try it and see how it works for you...

xoxo

Come and Go

One thing that's been coming up for me is how nothing is permanent. Everything changes. And sometimes, things change fast. When I am in a state of grace, I can easily see the beauty and 'rightness' of change. When I spending time with a loved one, or truly enjoying some experience, I try and take a moment to express my gratitude for this fleeting moment. Because I know it won't last.

Recently, there have been some relationship changes in my life. When I trust that all is perfectly unfolding, then I can relax into the flow. Doors closing create new openings and it's been beautiful to see who is coming in. There are people who I am re-connecting with after months or years (friends who live in CA) and there are people who have been here all along, and I finally am getting together with. And there are new friends that are coming in too, people to get to know and learn more about. One thing, I genuinely love getting to know people - young and old - and I hope that whatever job I get some day will involve working with people.

xoxo